Men, I'm Talking to You

After hanging out with a lot of my close girlfriends these past couple of days, some thoughts have been brewing in my mind. I don't think men understand the importance of the role they play in this world. How vital they are to the lives of women. I don't mean in a romantic sense, and I certainly don't mean in a women-need-men-to-survive sense. I mean, simply, that men can make the biggest positive difference in the lives of the women around them, by the simplest of actions and words. I've talked to so many women and young girls who are TIRED of the way they're being treated by the men in their lives. If they are involved with them in a romantic sense, these men are playing games with their emotions or seeking them for physical satisfaction only. They're being cheap on dates or talking to/flirting with other women in their presence. The list goes on and on. The worst thing is, these girls stand for it! Why? It perpetuates heartbreak after heartbreak and these women are left wondering where they went wrong. This is where you come in, good sirs. As these thoughts ruminated in my mind, a question formed there. How many strictly platonic, truly good male friendships have I had in my life? the answer: not many. A few come to mind, and they are all God-fearing men striving to do their best and treat women right. But what about all the rest of those friendships? The ones with men that turned sour for some reason? I've come to the conclusion that the men of this world need to rise up in the way that they treat their mothers, sisters, and friends, first and foremost. They say that a woman learns what kind of man she wants by watching her father, and if that's the case, how much more will she learn by the thousands of men she encounters in her lifetime? Men, when was the last time you complimented a female friend of yours on her outfit, or hair? I have a male friend who does this occasionally and boy, is it a mood lifter. If this makes you uncomfortable, wait for a girl to do it and then genuinely and kindly agree. When was the last time you bought flowers for your mother? Trust me, she'll love it. How do you treat your sister? Do you tease her and berate her, or do you try your best to help her and be an example for her to compare the other men in her life to? How many times have we all been out with a group of people and heard our male friends speak disparagingly of a female acquaintance, or comment crudely on the appearance of a girl walking down the street? Men, when your female friends text or call you, do you answer them right away, or do you make it a game? Women hear and see all of these things (or lack of them) and internalize them. When it comes time for them to date, they subconsciously compare the man in question to the norm they're used to. If the norm they're used to is quite pathetic, then you can imagine (and see) what they settle for! Thanks be to God that I have made male friends who uphold my dignity, and it is in part to these men that I have come to understand my worth and seek other male friends (and dates) who know how to honor that. But I will admit that it is a struggle to find these men, and often I find myself coming up short. Men, I challenge you to make some positive changes like these with the girls and women in your life. If you already do it, help other men to begin. Hold them accountable and call them out in compassion when you see them failing. Our world needs you, men who understand their vital and influential mission: they are here to protect and uphold every woman they come in contact with, be they fifteen, twenty-five, or fifty. I cannot stress this enough: if you do this, women everywhere will see it. They will begin to better understand their value, and ask (demand!) more from the men they are involved with both platonically and romantically. Do you want to start a revolution? Start here.