The Last Lesson I Learned From Jean Vanier
This morning I woke up to the news that Jean Vanier had died. If you don’t know who Jean Vanier was, you should. He was a French humanitarian and theologian made famous through his founding of and work with L’Arche, an international federation of communities developed for people with developmental disabilities and those who assist them. The work and influence of Jean Vanier has followed me consistently throughout the last decade of my life, from working my way through an undergraduate degree in education and teaching in California, obtaining my M.Ed at a Holy Cross school and Catholic service program in Utah, all the way to Ohio with Mercy Volunteer Corps and the Sisters of Mercy. I’ve read his words, reflected with them, and let them teach me about the value and dignity in all people, and the importance of living a life in communion with, and celebration of, others.
One of Jean Vanier’s biggest gifts to the world was his witness to the strength of the human spirit: that our true selves are revealed through the sharing of weakness and vulnerability, which when met with trust and respect, create authentic community and friendships; in other words, a place where real love can flourish. As a person who has worked for many years with students of varying abilities, and in ministry with teenagers and adults who are hurting and confused, this message of love deeply resonates with me. The last couple of years especially, I have worked hard to be honest and vulnerable in my relationships, to accept people exactly where they are, and to love sacrificially. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail miserably. But the thing I have learned from Jean Vanier is that my best is good enough; in fact, my best, as a unique person with my own experiences and gifts, is more than good enough. It’s invaluable. As he has so eloquently said, “Every child, every person, needs to know that they are a source of joy; every child, every person, needs to be celebrated. Only when all of our weaknesses are accepted as part of our humanity can our broken self-images be transformed.”
I don’t know about you, but I definitely have a broken self-image. I may seem constantly confident and self-assured (or so I’ve been told) but that has much more to do with courage in the face of fear than sheer confidence in my own abilities. And I have to admit that courage in the face of fear has made up a lot of my life for the past four years. From job after job, moving countless times, and just suffering through a general string of life situations in which I constantly feel not good enough, my self-image has been subjected to a lot of wear and tear. This month alone has been filled with a lot of questions. Where will I work next? Where will I live? Am I making the right decisions? Along with a slew of personal situations that subject my thoughts to constant debate and confusion. I woke up this morning feeling like a tremendous burden of complaints and fears to those around me and spent most of the day at work lost in my own murky thoughts.
As I slogged through these feelings, trying to separate and make sense of them, I turned again to Jean Vanier. He proclaimed, through word and deed, that no person in this world is a burden. No person should feel so, just as no person should be alone in their pain and brokenness. As I remembered this I felt my spirits lift, and imagined if Jean Vanier were here next to me, how he would accept me just as I am, in my weakness and confusion, and find that just as worthy of love as anything else. And in that moment of communion with his spirit, I found joy.
It is my sincere hope that if you haven’t known much about Jean Vanier until today, you take some time to read his words and learn about his legacy. He was a man of exceptional compassion and humility and he has much to teach the world. May he bring you the same comfort he brought to me.
To be in communion means to be with someone and discover that we actually belong together. Communion means accepting people just as they are, with all their limits and inner pain, but also with their gifts and their beauty and their capacity to grow: to see the beauty inside of all the pain. To love someone is not first of all to do things for them, but to reveal to them their beauty and value, to say to them through our attitude: You are beautiful. You are important. I can trust you. You can trust me.
Jean Vanier, 1928-2019
