Why Social Media Makes Me Uncomfortable

First off, let me start with a disclaimer: just because social media makes me uncomfortable, does that mean I don’t like it? No. I have Facebook, a Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, a Pinterest account, and Tumblr. I love them for the different inspirational, relational, and educational opportunities they provide. But let’s be real, not everybody uses them this way and sometimes I don’t either. That’s where the discomfort comes in.

We all know a picture is worth a thousand words, and I try to be so careful about what I post online. If I had a dollar for every time I created a post, thought better of it, and then deleted it, I’d be a rich woman. Sometimes I post something, decide it was wrong of me to say or gives the wrong impression, and I go back and delete it. I want my posts on social media to uplift people, not bring them harm in any way, and there’s a lot of ways that can happen. Most of them we’re not aware of because we’re just not thinking.

So I’m telling you today, think about what your posts on social media say to other people. Ask yourself these questions: do my posts convey truth, joy, compassion, and humility? Are they headshot after headshot of my face or body at different angles? Would this picture cause someone’s gaze to linger too long for the wrong reasons? Are my captions or tweets unforgiving, profane, lewd, or overly negative? Am I calling someone out publicly, or sub-tweeting them, or posting something that sounds like it’s about them but really isn’t in the hopes they’ll see it and think it’s about them and then they’ll think about me? Too often, a response to these questions might sound like this: I don’t post these things for other people, I post what I like. It’s not my fault if they take it the wrong way. If they don’t like it, they can unfollow me. It’s not my problem what they do. To be honest, if you call yourself a Christian that’s the wrong attitude to take. Christ asks us to take care of our brothers and sisters, and that means any action involving another person should promote their welfare at all times.

I’ve noticed another trend lately, of young women and teens who post picture after picture of themselves, followed by the comments of adoring followers, usually with five heart-eye faces, ten flame emojis, and fifteen crying faces, followed by the words SO PERFECT, GORGEOUS, OMG WHY ARE YOU THE CUTEST EVER, etc. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with kind words, and it’s good to bring our sisters up on social media instead of tear them down, but at the same time it upsets me. How many times do we retake picture after picture? How many poses do we go through? What's the point of all that?

On the flip side, what’s being praised in these situations? Perfect poses? Perfect makeup? The person rather than the situation?

Who’s going to see it and take it the wrong way? Feel bad that they don’t have that many likes, that many comments, that many admirers? Feel bad because they don’t look that good? Make it their goal to look like you, pose like you, get as popular as you?

It sounds ridiculous, yes, but it happens all the time, every day. I’ve spoken to so many young women who delete social media because they know it makes them feel bad, makes them compare themselves to other girls, makes them feel less than.

How often do we see or post pictures with the focus on one person, and how often do we write or see comments actually affirming the non-physical? I love how happy you look, your smile brings me joy, I’m so thankful you’re my bestie, that looks so fun! etc. I myself don’t do this nearly enough, and I plan to start. Our followers should understand that our aim is to make less of ourselves, more of Christ. We should understand that as well. We don’t have power over the comments of other people and we’re not responsible for what they say, but if we keep on posting these types of pictures then we’re providing them with the opportunity. If we have a friend who is consistently making comments about our appearance, declaring how perfect we look, it is in our power to ask them to stop. If we do it lovingly, explaining the action behind our words, they should understand.

Our culture is obsessed with appearances. When not used correctly, social media amplifies that obsession. There’s nothing wrong with posting a cute picture of yourself every now and then, but honestly, when someone sees my social media accounts, I want them to see my interests and passions before anything else. I want my love for Jesus to be obvious. I want them to see a profile that points to Him, not to my physical qualities, and I want to radiate truth, joy, compassion, and humility. These are, after all, the best parts about us.

He must become greater, I must become less. - John 3:30