On Patience, of Which I Have None

As the title suggests, this post is going to be about patience. I don't really have any. Most people find this funny, because after teaching for the last seven years, they believe I would have found patience somewhere. The truth of the matter is, I have abundant patience for children, students, old people, cute animals, etc. but when it comes to the average person around me and my own life, patience is nowhere to be found.

In all seriousness, I've struggled with this for many years. I've taken it to confession over and over and over. It wasn't until this past year when I encountered the readings of St. Therese of Lisieux and consecrated myself to the Divine Mercy of the Sacred Heart of Jesus that my attitude really began to improve. That might sound daunting (it took her years?!?) or ridiculous (she finally improved because of a book?) but either way, it's true. The funny thing about becoming a better person though, is that the better you become, the more obvious your remaining faults appear to be. So now that I've finally made significant strides in becoming a more patient person, I'm noticing daily all the little ways that I fail to be patient. It also happens to be Advent, the season of waiting, so the significance of this isn't lost on me. Thanks, Jesus.

One of the models I have for my life, the absolute Queen of Patience (we should make that another of her official titles), is the Virgin Mary. Her Fiat to the Lord is the greatest example of faithfulness. When I think of my own life, I like to have answers. I like to have instant gratification. I make a plan, and my plan includes the next ten steps. When I'm faced with a new situation, I despise having to sit around and wait for it to unfold. When I compare myself to the Virgin Mary, I fall flatter than a pancake. Sigh. What I've come to realize is that patience really has a lot to do with faithfulness. Everything, in fact.

When the angel Gabriel came to Mary, he basically terrified her. She had no idea why an angel of the Lord would be appearing to her, especially with a greeting normally reserved for only the most important persons in Jewish history (Hail!). Gabriel reveals to her that she will give birth to the Savior of mankind, the son of God, whose Kingdom will never end. And what is Mary's answer? I am the handmaid of the Lord, let it be done to me according to your word. Wow. But the next part of the story is just as important and often overlooked: and then the angel departed from her.

Say what?!?! Mary just agreed to do this beautiful thing, the most amazing terrifying beautiful thing, and the angel doesn't even give her any details! At this point, I'd have some questions. My impatience would get the better of me. Would this be happening right away? What exactly is the timeline? What would this baby look like? Will he have superpowers? What's going to happen to me after? What will happen to my baby? But no. In this instance, God reveals something to Mary and to us all: He only wants us to say yes, and the rest is His business. God desires only our faithfulness, and He will make the situation fruitful. The outcome is not always ours to know. The how, when, why, where, and no really, God, can you just make it happen already? are not under our control. Mary said yes to the Lord, and immediately the angel left her and she had nine months to wait without any answers. Talk about a lesson in patience, but clearly Mary aced it. I'm getting sweaty just thinking about it.

If patience is something you struggle with like me, let Mary's fiat be a reminder to you. She didn't let fear, uncertainty, and not knowing the ultimate outcome get in the way of her faithfulness. She chose patience, because she trusted the Lord's promise that all would be well. The next time you're faced with a new situation, big or small, life-changing or trivial, take a deep breath, ask Mary for patience, and remember that you're in good company.

I'm praying for you.