Why I'm Trying to Ignore Myself More

Young people these days have a lot of good things going for them. I think this generation is talented and passionate and proud. We're becoming more educated about our world, are involved and invested in politics, and are creating, loving and sharing in a way that no other generation could, or was called to do. But there is one practice I wish we could give up: we value our own thoughts too much. Wait a minute, you might say, you're trying to tell me my feelings aren't important? And to that I reply absolutely not, but also kind of yes.

It was several years ago when I was having a conversation with a friend about discernment: deciding, in the presence of spiritual guidance, what the Lord is calling you to do. That guidance might be in the form of a priest, a spiritual director, or just constant conversation with God. In this way, discernment is different than just regular decision making. It involves a spiritual aspect, that reliance on the word of God to guide you to the right answer, and there are so many questions we have to answer in our life. But what if we don't find the answer, or what we thought was the right answer turns out to be wrong? What does that mean? We aren't trying hard enough, we're stupid, we failed, we didn't ask the right people? Nope. Then my friend told me something I'll never forget. Feelings are not automatically truth, and can't always be relied upon. Hm.

I was in a relationship once that lasted about three years. I "loved" everything about that guy, and we agreed that in the future we'd get married. However, everything about that relationship was based on our feelings. How we felt when we looked at each other, how we felt when we spent a day together, how we felt when making each other laugh. There were a lot of incompatibilities between us, important issues in how we lived and what we wanted out of life, but we ignored all those things because of how we felt. Of course, a relationship based on feelings can only last so long. Needless to say, we're not married. Am I saying that our relationship or all the good times we had together weren't real? Of course not. My feelings about him were real and they mattered, but just because I felt them didn't make what I was doing God's will.

Another example. I have a friend who is a kind, beautiful, amazing soul. However, she's been through a series of a relationships with men who were manipulative, abusive, and cruel. They lied to her, put her down, and used her. These relationships inevitably left her feeling broken, unwanted, and worthless, and her pain and sadness were very real. Millions of people experience their own tragedies every day that leave them with that same thoughts running through their mind and affecting everything they do: I'm just not good enough. But let me pose this question: is it true? We know the answer: No.

Our feelings and emotions are good. God created us to think and feel, and we use those capabilities every day to enrich our lives and those of others. However, when we start to rely only on our own thoughts, and believe that our emotions will always point us to the truth, we're lying to ourselves. That then begs the question, whose thoughts should we be listening to? I think you know. The Lord tells us that His thoughts are not like ours, and His ways are not like our ways. When we attempt to answer big life questions on our own, our thoughts can't be relied on. Our ways will lead us astray. Because our human nature is flawed, even with the best intentions, we can fail. Every big decision we find ourselves having to make should involve God's thoughts first. Through mass, prayer, and the sacraments, we should be making ourselves available to what the Lord has to say. Oftentimes we won't understand. The answer will be unclear, we won't like it, or it will turn out nothing like we imagined. But that's just it, what we imagine is nothing, nothing, compared to what the Lord has in store for us.

Think about these words specifically: For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. Wow. Just think about that. No part of scripture was written on accident. Did you know that the galaxies of space, the Milky Way and all stars, are over 4 light years away? That's 40 trillion kilometers, and that's the closest star. The Milky Way is actually 100,000 light years away. I can't even do that math in kilometers right now. So when the Lord tells us that His thoughts and ways are as far from us as the heavens are from the earth, what amazing meaning that has. No wonder we struggle to believe it when He calls us beloved, when we hear how much God longs for us, even in the middle of the world telling us how worthless we are, when the one person we want doesn't want us back, when we feel lost in and suffocated by the sheer weight of all our problems. No wonder we don't understand why terrible things happen, why we just can't catch a break, just what it all means. But if we listen to God's thoughts, we hear the truth. He is who we must believe. When we call upon the Lord consistently, He will grace us with wisdom. We will find that even having no clear answer ourselves does not mean that God isn't still guiding us toward the truth. We can be confident in Him and His promises, and that is the only place we can never be let down.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there but water the earth, making it spring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall be my word that goes forth from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I intend, and prosper in the thing for which I sent it. For you shall go out in joy, and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills before you shall break into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle; and it shall be to the Lord for a memorial, for an everlasting sign which shall not be cut off. // Isaiah 55:8-13

I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of Glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which He has called you. // Ephesians 1:16-18

No eye has seen, no ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him. // 1 Corinthians 2:9